Or I'm in the middle of painting an old piece of furniture and someone grabs it and takes it to the living room and destroys the rug I saved up for. I wake up in a cold sweat over a rug, ya'll. A large piece of carpet keeps me up at night.
I've also dreamed that everyone brought me a weenie dog and my house was overtaken by dachshunds (contrary to popular belief--and my Facebook wall--this was not a positive dream).
It's so funny how, as our lives shift, so do our ridiculous insecurities that weasel their way into our mind's reject pile of thoughts during our REM cycle.
Let's compare dreams:
Before: You're standing at your high school locker and can't remember the combination.
Now: You're in the grocery store line and you forgot your membership card. To make matters worse, you suddenly have no recollection of your phone number either.
Before: You are giving a speech in Oral Communications completely naked.
Now: Being naked. Period.
Before: You meet the man of your dreams.
Now: You killed your husband, but wake up relieved that he's still lying beside you.
Before: You're being chased through a crowd of people.
Now: A crowd of people come over to your house and tell you that they thought you were in charge of Thanksgiving dinner this year.
I'm sure when I become a parent, the dreams will take a turn for the weirder. Each stage of life brings its own set of nightmares and challenges.
But when we wake up, we know who is in control. Even if I have to unexpectedly cook a turkey or dish out my life savings for a couple spark plugs, I know (praise ye the Lord) that goofy nightmares are not my reality.
So mail me a thousand dachshunds. I got this.
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