Every season of my life has been filled to the brim with something. When I was in my early 20s, it was bridesmaid dresses. My now ancient and extinct Garmin GPS had David's Bridal in Little Rock listed as one of my "favorites." Surprisingly, I have worn a couple of those dresses more than once. Probably to attend other weddings. Let's be honest.
My mid-20s was baby shower season. I remember the first time I saw a breast pump in Target. I told myself that I was not going to be the friend who turned my bestie into a milk farm. So I bought a Boppee pillow. It was still in the nursing realm but could also be used to lie on when 'ol Bess needs a break from filling buckets.
I'm turning 30 in a couple months and oh this season has already started, ya'll. The "I dos" have been said, the babies have been had, and now we're all trying to become millionaires.
I'm almost 30, I don't have a full-time gig, and I spend a lot of money on dogs. I get it. I have a large target on my back.
But I just gotta say it. Nicely. But I gotta.
I. Don't. Want. To. Sell. Anything.
Not in a house. Not with a mouse. Not in a box. Not with a fox.
I'm not saying this to dog on people who do. But this is a perspective I think needs to be addressed.
Driving a company car, exceeding my husband's salary, taking a trip with women, having bodily insides pretty enough to hang in The Louvre, is not my dream. It's not a lot of people's dream.
And that's OK.
You know what one of my dreams is, though?
Authentic friendships. Someone cheerleading me to be thankful for what I have. The understanding that often extra spending money comes from the extra spending money that someone else doesn't have.
I write this, because after numerous meetings, messages, coffee dates, etc, I felt empty. I felt like something was wrong with me because I was being told I could "live the dream," only to wonder if something was wrong with me if I didn't want it.
I love deep conversation, but was always hesitant because I knew the person was probably going to ask me to buy something or start selling something once the preliminary catch-up was over. I was waiting for the bomb to drop.
I can do bridesmaid dresses. I can do baby showers. But I can't let my 30s be ruled by this.
I drive a 2011 Camry. My husband is one of the hardest workers I know and provides wonderfully for our family. We go on trips to Little Rock to see superhero movies in IMAX 3-D.
Essentially, I am living the dream.
