Girl Fight.

I consider myself a well-traveled person; a well-educated person; a supporter of women. Which is why I am one judgmental post away from calling together a Kotex-sponsored United Nations meeting.

I am here to represent an ignored demographic; the woman who sees value in both having ambition and having family. I will never understand why we have pitted the two against each other as this unavoidable dichotomy rather than encouraging one another to strive for both. 

To imply true purpose ends in a law degree or a medical residency is just as flawed as looking down on women who choose to forego family life.

So here's the truth: 

1. A passport, in itself, does not lead to growth. I have one. Besides the fact that my picture resembles the mugshot of a criminal with a bad haircut, I love that thing. It represents a time in my life where I chose to mature, I chose to see people from all walks of life in a whole new way. If it's the stamped paper document that's on your "before I get married bucket list," it is as meaningless as a McDonald's napkin.

2. You don't have to take time to be selfish; you kind of already are. If you really want to "stick it to the man," learn how to be unselfish; how to coexist with another human being and put their needs before your own. I wrote a 30-page graduate thesis with four international students who didn't speak English. But reaching marital equilibrium has been my greatest feat. 

3. Freedom isn't exclusive to a particular marital status. Yes, I'm sure my sister friends out there with kids aren't singing the National Anthem on a daily basis. The closest thing they have to a jail break is when their kids haven't yet figured out they're sitting on the toilet. But there were days when my single freedom was stinted by my bank account or a less than desirable job. Real freedom isn't standing naked in front of a window (this was in an article); real freedom isn't dating two guys at once; real freedom isn't kissing a random stranger. It's a choice. It's chasing contentment rather than momentary gratification. 

It's time to end the division; the notion that dreams die in a sea of "I do's" and the inclination that naivety surrounds women without the title of wife or mom. 

I have spent ample time on both sides of the fence and have found that my emotional and intellectual development was less dependent on my role at the time-- and more contingent on my desire to continually learn and empathize with other human beings.