Devotional

We all know how good I am at confession time. I’ve got that whole swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth thing DOWN.

So here’s another one to add to the pile:

Daily devotional thoughts don’t do anything for me. Nada. Zip. Zero.

And even worse? I don’t like doing Beth Moore fill-in-the-blank booklets. In fact, I often get restless when I’m subjected to DVD curriculum.

They reach people; I get that. I’m glad for that. I’ve sat in many a study and inwardly begged for my heart to be reached.

But when I’m really in the trenches of womanhood; when I’m one burnt dinner away from throwing in the towel; when I’m two inches away from getting my pants to zip, I frankly don’t really want to hear about God’s soft whispers to my faint heart—or his ability to rescue me from a storm.

Some people do; for most, it is just what they needed to hear.

But I’m weird.

And if I were to write devotional thoughts, they would probably go a little something like this—which is most likely why they have a book deal and I don’t.

· There is nothing funny about Greek yogurt and fruity salads. Don’t feel like you’re an unhappy person if this doesn’t make you laugh with your friends.

· Being a female in the workforce is not going to make you feel like Elle Woods in Legally Blonde. Often the only empowerment you feel is when you finally get that coffee to creamer ratio right. Keep your head up. You are making a difference—even if you don’t feel like it.

· When you’re not the size you want to be, don’t buy out the mall—but get a couple pairs of pants that fit the size you are now. No one should walk around feeling like they’re one French fry away from a TNT explosion of flab.

· Realize that the toilet is prime prayer real estate. God is on his throne—and so are you.

· Have at least one good ugly cry twice a month. Sitting in your car, gripping your steering wheel is preferable.

· Make fun of magazines and Pinterest. Like big time. “Oh, you’re so cool. You have a fireplace inside your bath tub. That’s practical.” This will get you out of your pity party and into reality.

· The majority of husbands don’t want meat topped with a fruity glaze and lemon zest. So stop zesting and stressing. If half of your meals are pasta, don’t fret. It’s not in the good book—but rumor has it--that on the 8th day, God made spaghetti and store-bought garlic bread.

So yeah, this isn’t the usual devotional approach. But everyone’s heart responds to a different message; and my message is this:

Sometimes your storm is nothing more than the fact that you are tired of being a Mom right now; sometimes your storm is a pair of jeans that are stuck on your calves. But whatever it is—it’s important to God. You don’t have to neatly package it in an eloquent devotional thought; you can scream it in the car while fulfilling one of your required ugly cries. You can pray in front of a crowd or you can pray behind stall 3.

But realize that devotion is daily; it's minute to minute; it's a momentary decree that you can't handle this world on your own.

Don't read the devo; be the devo.