Siri Meets Psychology

I am the proud owner of a new iPhone 4s. Yep, I'm that kid that's always a step behind the new thing. Justin, ever the techie, got the 5. We spent most of last night sitting next to each other on the couch, instructing Siri to call or text the other. I would say, "Tell Justin, 'You're handsome.'" I'd hear a beep on his end and we would both shake our heads in complete wonder at her majesty.

Why am I now incapable of typing out my own text messages? I am no psychologist, but I think technology brings out the culmination of our inner longings.

Ya wanna know why we are now incapable of typing out our own messages? Because our phones let us be the boss. And, for most of us, this is not something we get to experience in our lives. Most of us spend more than half of our lives doing what people tell us to do; if you are so fortunate to be in the other boat, you spend more than half of your life watching people continually do the opposite of what you tell them to do.

I think there is just some sort of small adrenaline rush when you say, "Call Mom" and your phone starts dialing. Even when Siri becomes a confused non-human and it would be easier to type out your question, you keep getting louder when speaking your demands to her. Society may frown upon this tone with your peers, but lucky for you, you have a robot subordinate.

Not to get all Psychology 101 on you, but here are some other deep-seeded feelings technology brings to light.

-- Google. The deep desire to have all of our questions answered lightning fast. First dates used to be interesting because you could babble for hours about what year Journey released what album. Now, in one swift motion, you know when the album was released, how the band members felt about each other, and their respective food allergies. Conversation = dead. This has created a generation of know-it-alls who didn't know they did until technology empowered their dormant ego.

-- YouTube. No one knew that watching a rather large, one-toothed woman sing "Sweet Home Alabama" would be mesmerizing. I sure didn't know that I could watch babies laugh for an hour straight. It's official: we all need some weird in our life. We often feel that we lead drab, very routine lives. Watching Scarlet take a tumble off a table is just the confirmation we need: "You are not that sad. Bravo on being kind of awesome."

-- Overly shared memes. Sometimes I think no one will listen to me. But if I pass along this smarty pants illustration and people like it, they are liking me. Because that's what I wanted to say.

-- 3-D Television. Yay. A way for me to get nauseated in my own home. But really, this is an attempt to liven up the mundane. Do you want to see Titanic? No, that was stupid. Do you want to see Titanic 3-D? Oh yeah, I am so there. I hope it looks like the ship is going to impale me." For one night we get to not feel like a flat, chubby South Park character and see life in 3-D. So hand over the glasses.

-- Facebook Cause Campaigns. If only for my own sanity, I try to see the good in people. And I truly believe most people really do want to make a difference. But most, including me sometimes, don't know how to exit their busy lives fast enough to do so. So we "like" and we "share" and we pass along pictures of hurting children, but we often fail to see opportunities that stare us in the face every day.

-- Anything Touchscreen. "What did you like about that phone?" "That gas station?" "That tablet?" You usually get some form of the response: "It's touchscreen, maaaan." We don't like buttons anymore.

Because people push ours all the time. And all the machines that make us hate our lives have buttons. And while we're in the buttons family, who hates pants?

So yes, I have probably delved into this way more than I should, but I had to find the reason that Siri fascinates me so much.

And I found it without a single Google search.