I've Been Thinking...

We think a lot of things. We tell ourselves a lot of things in complete denial. We try to stay delusional so the little facts won't depress us. Yes, as you can tell, I am trying to eat healthier...again. It seems like every time I write a blog about my intentions I end up doing worse. But I endured two trials from Satan today and passed so I think this time might be different. I heard the girls at work were ordering Upper Crust Pizza-- my absolute favorite indulgence-- so I timed it out to leave before the pizza got there. Guess who got to ride down three floors with the pizza man? That would be me. I didn't tackle him and steal his bag. Secondly, I made brownies for Justin tonight and did not lap up the entire batter mixture like a dog drinks water post-run. So I win.


But back to the 'thinking things' thing. I guess I have just kidded myself my whole life about what things are good...and what things are bad.

Take for instance my freshman year of college when I somehow recalled someone down the line telling me that muffins were good for you-- much better than doughnuts. So every morning on the way to class, I would make a pit stop at the cafeteria and grab a GIANT muffin. It was about the size of a softball. I guess because bran is close to bland and banana nut involves a fruit (hurray) and nuts (hurray), I suppose I thought that this nutritious treat would serve me well in my desire to fight pudginess.

After failure (surprised?), someone said, "Well, I don't mean to be mean, but those muffins have like 1000 calories in them."

Heart shattered. Couldn't believe it. I could have been having doughnuts this whole time.

Here are some other things I thought back then:

• You should wait around until you get the perfect job that fulfills your passion-- Hate to break it to you, honey, but people don't want to pay you to know Greek fluently. They want to pay you to do their tax returns. So keep your passion, but go ahead and work like the rest of the passionless world.


• Being skinny is easy. I thought this. I really did. I could do 20 sit-ups and it was like my Spring Break binge-eating never happened. Now I can't even do 20 sit-ups. 


• Trends must be followed. Your dad was actually pretty clever when he said, "You want a belt made out of a seatbelt? I can save $60 and just rip one out of the old van." 
  


• I deserve a new car. You think you deserve a car because you what...made a free throw? Your parents are driving you all over Arkansas and they don't have a decent vehicle. Thank them. 
  


• I should tan until I'm orange. You look like the Oompa Loompa child of the vegetable juicer guy, OK? Cool it. 


• Working out is fun! It's fun when you only have to do it 'for fun.' When your legs peddle on the stationary bike and you get to see your thighs repeatedly high-five each other, the fun is kind of gone.


• Other people have so much to brag about. Let me guess. Their "band" was offered a chance to tour in Europe. That was before they were asked to play on a European basketball team. And they never have to wear a jacket. And they can eat spicy food without any consequences. It's a fancy form of insecurity, this you will learn. 


• Attracting and dating your complete opposite is a good idea. When they say opposites attract, they're talking "high-maintenance vs. low maintenance" or "Calm vs. Uptight." They are not, dear child, talking about "smart vs. idiot" and "driven vs. drive me everywhere." 

It's always funny to go back and think about what you used to feel about things. They're usually quite wrong and narrow-minded based on your human experience up until that point.

You live, you learn and you don't eat gigantic bald cupcakes.