Experience.

“There may be noise and things going on all around you. Acknowledge these things, but don’t do anything about it,” said the soothing, soft-like-butter voice of my meditation instructor.

Ok, so I don’t have an actual meditation instructor. I have a 99 cent app from iTunes and a lady whose voice was recorded in some studio somewhere. But still. I needed to hear that. I sat there, sprawled out on an unfolded pile of laundry, and I basked in this permission to ignore the clamor in my life. It was harder to do when my dog busted into the bedroom, but still I pressed on.

I figure this app is significantly cheaper than a real therapist and I’m a sucker for anything that can play ocean sounds in the background.

All kidding aside, it’s taken a few breakdowns to get me to the point where I’ve realized I can no longer ignore my naturally wound-up disposition. That living in a constant state of anxiousness is not normal. That being one wrong turn away from getting all Mt. Vesuvius on everybody is not ideal.

I’ve read numerous blogs that address the poisonous effect of blogs, Pinterest, and perfect Instagram photos. How the portrayal of other people’s flawlessness makes our own lives somehow appear mundane and unworthy. While I don’t disagree with their assessment, I have come to some conclusions of my own.

What if our dissatisfaction and anxiety comes not from the lowering effect of comparison, but rather the way we have elevated the human experience? How we feel that every emotion and frustration we experience is a direct adversary to how things are supposed to feel.

I have the right to be happy. I have the right to have my dream job. I’ve earned it. I am married so I’m supposed to feel whole. Motherhood is God’s greatest blessing and I will feel its warmth every second of the day. Anxiety and depression only affect people with real problems.

It’s these lies that suck the life out of us—not a sepia tone picture of your co-worker at the beach.

When will we realize that these “rights” are nothing more than pedestals we fall off of unnecessarily?

Besides taking a few moments each day to just “be,” I am also trying to reprogram how I view the human experience.

I dumped Diet Coke on myself today in the car. I took a deep breath and thought to myself, “You are not the only person who has done this today.” Because you know what? I’m not. This wasn’t some lightning bolt from God or karma. It’s real. It’s life.

And I don’t have to adhere to this myth that because others have it worse than I do that I shouldn’t be entitled to my feelings, to my vulnerability.

God doesn’t have this cookie cutter ideal experience he wants us to aspire to; this unattainable goal that will make us pull our hair out in the process. He wants you to bring your experience to him; he wants to replace your hard-earned rights with a deep contentment in the present.

This isn’t some overnight process for me. Believe me. It’s going to take a lot more than a blog post to unwind this sweater.

But if I have been relatable, if I have been that person on the other side of your experience, then I am on my way to a transparency that will change my life.