Now...

Though most of the people my age and younger can recount to you where they were when they learned of 9/11, I dare say that we in no way knew our lives were changed. I know I didn't. I remember still having a Geometry test, with the TV playing in the background. I remember the adults were very anxious. But I had a volleyball game-- and to a 15 year old, that is of utmost importance.

I've read several statuses today where people mentioned where they were when they learned of the news. Reflection is important-- but I will go a step further and ask an even more prominent question: Where are we now?

This isn't the time when I go into our political advancements and war successes and failures since then. Because frankly, I don't know.

It's when I ask myself: "Are you still that naive 15-year-old?" "Do you still think you can conveniently turn the impact of situations on and off like a light switch?" And sometimes the answer is yes. A resounding, pitiful, honest yes.

The event 11 years ago is more present to some people than others; some of us still haven't quite accepted it-- if for no other reason than our inability to touch it, feel it, see it. Some of us sent loved ones away to foreign lands, stirring up an anger to make their absences quiet down in our hearts.

But I am here to say that 9/11 is more than an angry country song about sticking boots certain places... it is more than a business painting "God Bless America" on their windows. It is certainly not a church equating it to God's wrath. It is not the creation of hatred for a certain group of people.

Instead, it convicts me.

Why are the salaries and benefits of police officers and firemen so acceptably low in this country if we are indeed so grateful?

Why do we uphold our soldiers until they come home to find that no one wants to accept their insurance? 

Why do we quarrel so much about the sacred ground of the fallen that we forget to just be solemn in their memory?

What do we tell the 18-year-old boys who are being sent to Afghanistan about why they are going? After all, they were 7 when it happened. 

Why does writing a Top 10 hit now make you patriotic, but asking deep questions makes you hate America?

Why do those bemoaning the state of our country suddenly, for one day out of the year, announce that we are a Christian nation? 

Why does the Office of President not call for any amount of respect any longer?

Why do political parties stop terrorizing each other on this one day rather than adopting it all together?

You're probably wondering where all this is coming from. And I guess, for me, it's something that always returns about this time. I guess because I truly want to see this tragedy alter our vision, however long it might take.

So don't think that 9/11 can't make its way into legislation, into city council decisions, into Supreme Court cases, into the everyday facet of our lives. It can even be the voice inside us reminding us how to treat our neighbor and what causes to support.

It can if we let it.

And only then will we be able to glance behind us, but keep walking forward.