To the Teenage Me

I have reached that point in life where I can now say, "When I was young" or "Back when I was in high school" without sounding like a college freshman with an attitude who needs a couple large doses of perspective-- stat.

Younger people now ask me questions like I might have the faintest idea about stuff-- life stuff. Weird.

This realization, along with a blog I read today, made me ponder what I would in fact say to my teenage self. 

-- If your parents say the guy is a loser, he's usually a loser. He will add you on Facebook years down the road and three profile pictures in, you will call your dad and thank him for grounding you from MSN Messenger at the start of the new millennium. 

-- Don't wear metallic eye shadows. Especially when you are wearing the same color shirt. 

-- Mean girls usually make mean women. Your oversized Nike shirts and glasses won't live to define you, but spite and hatred will invade the crevices of their lives. So hang tight. You will win.

-- Don't bother begging your mother to spend her paycheck on Dr. Marten boots and those spongey, Brillo-pad flip-flops. They are way overpriced and you will look back and laugh at yourself for paying $50 to walk on a shoe that could clean your bathroom in 5 minutes flat. 

-- Do something for me. Reach down and run your hand over your super flat stomach. You are not fat. And if you say it again, I will jump in a time machine and show you what you have to look forward to. 

-- At every family gathering, soak it in. Seriously. There will come a day when you will wish your brothers were closer and that you could eat supper with your parents. Your grandparents will get older, traditions will change and you will eventually go with the flow, even when you thought you couldn't.

-- I want you to know that you will, despite all odds, get married. So stop worrying. And pouring face sweat every time you talk to a guy. It doesn't matter. Because none of them are "the one." 

-- Get out of the locker room and quit crying. You won't even remember missing that shot. No one will. And one day, saying, "I played ball in high school" will sound like a desperate attempt to stay relevant. Let it go #33. 

-- In college, you will be given the choice to study abroad. You won't know anyone, which makes you want to say no, but you will do it anyway. And it will be the time of your life. 

-- You will have several chances to pay attention to people younger than you or people who are in a different group. Grasp these opportunities. You will see them down the road and know you played a small role in the well-being of their lives.

-- When your parents drive to the outskirts of Arkansas on a work night to watch you play, then take your friends for ice cream afterwards, thank them. You will one day understand the exhaustion that comes from working full-time. 

-- After college, your views on certain topics will change ever so slightly. Don't be afraid of it. Study, read and don't just accept what you heard in passing as truth. 

-- Not going to lie-- finding a job stinks. You will be lost without a compass. But keep your mantra, "My passion is writing, but my job is _______." It will keep you sane until you can fill in the blank with your passion. I was this close to saying "pick a different major," but I feel like you will follow your heart. 

-- Write for small publications. Write for the college newspaper. You will meet a lot of cool people and interview some doozies. One takes place in a graveyard. Next time, take someone with you. 

-- But most of all, laugh more than you cry. Which, I have to tell you, is going to be a lot. Hormones are fun. 

Meet you in a few years. Don't do anything I wouldn't do.