Justin and I have been watching this show called, "Til Death" on Netflix. It chronicles the hilarity that ensues after a newlywed couple moves next door to a seasoned veteran couple of 20 years. The naivety, innocence and excitement of the young couple often creates tiffs between the veterans, while the advice and insight of the veterans often enlightens the newlyweds.
Several episodes in, I realized something: Justin and I related more to the older couple. This is not to say that we have it all together or that we have faced the trials that will surely hit down the road. It's not even implying that we go about things the right way.
I can't speak for Justin, but I feel like I was so glad to get out of the dating world, so glad I didn't have to be this "always on top of my game" version of myself, so glad to have someone see my faults and accept them, that falling into a comfortable stasis in a marriage was kind of a good thing-- not something to be ashamed of.
Am I condoning reaching a state of complete boredom with your partner? No. Am I saying you should never try new things or visit new places? No. But I am saying that sometimes a rut can be a good thing. It is God's gift to the girl who wouldn't dare let her high school boyfriend see her without make-up on. It's not in the vows, but it's basically saying, "Do you, Justin, accept her oldest, hole-ridden sweatpants from college? To love and to look at from this day forward?"
When you're dating, you pretend to like stuff and they don't really notice. You break up and suddenly have 10 CDs you would have never purchased on your own. A bonfire soon happens.
When you're married, you pretend to like stuff, but it is mutually acknowledged. And suddenly the quid pro quo phrase you always heard in passing starts to make more sense.
When you're dating, you have to mathematically calculate your meal consumption. Eat-enough-because-he's-paying vs. don't-let-him-think-you're-a-chicken-vacuum-cleaner.
When you're married, you will pride yourself in couple consumption. Justin and I are still glowing from the demolition of the 14-inch from Upper Crust Pizza that happened before the waitress came back for refills.
When you're dating, you always have to smell good.
When you're married, you will partake in "Smell me" "No smell me" competitions after working in the yard, working out or flat out just not taking a shower for a few days.
When you're dating, you can stare lovingly into each other's eyes for an eternity.
When you're married, your husband inches close to your face to help you pluck that stubborn eyebrow stray.
When you're dating, it is equally understood that neither of you go #2.
When you're married, you will walk in the bathroom, yell, "Sick!" and your husband will smile triumphantly.
When you're dating, you feel obligated to stay on the phone for hours.
When you're married, it is luckily only used as a walkie-talkie. "Headed home." "Roger that."
When you're dating, you pretty girl cry. You know, the one where you sniffle and say, "I'm just so sad. Hold me."
When you're married, you ugly cry. Full out blubbers and undecipherable sentences. They don't usually hold you because they just have to stand there in stunned wonder.
When you're dating, sticking to plans is pretty important. I mean, you've been planning to see the new Batman movie for weeks now, right?
When you're married, you will be halfway to a party and your husband will say, "Do you want to just run to the gas station, get some snacks, and watch TV?" And you will wholeheartedly agree. Hello, sweatpants and gummy worms.
Some people take stabs at couples that have "lost their mystery." You know what, though? Dating is full of mysteries and that's why 93% of the time, it doesn't work. Marriage only seems to work when couples truly grow to know each other...like creepily know each other.
And that's something I can get comfortable with.
Bring on the frump love.
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