Many of you have probably kept up with my Facebook updates chronicling the joys of long road trips with family. It is true. This past week, several of my extended family members piled into a 15-passenger van and headed to New Mexico for my Aunt Chiara's wedding, or as she is also affectionately known by friends: Sat Purkh Kaur Khalsa.
I was reminded of many things on this trip; my family's unique ability to engage in high mental capacity conversations early in the morning, the uncanny way cousins can act like no time has gone by when several seasons have passed, and --of course-- my mom's wonderful suggestions for alternative bathroom options. On the way home, she made me squat in some grass outside of a gas station with no public restroom because "You don't have to go that bad if you can't go right here."
But, above all, this week was a portrait of love. We spent several days as guests in the Sikh community in Espanola. Though it was an experience outside of the realm of our everyday lives, we were greeted with love, laughter, and lots of food-- and let's not forget the mariachi band.
Fresh out of the van (or not so fresh in all actuality), I sat a little dazed at her shower as they sang a melodic chant to honor and calm the bride's nerves. This sweet woman next to me leaned in and said, "It's OK. You're probably just suffering from turban shock." I couldn't help but smile.
It was then that I realized: We are all aware of our differences and even that we stick out sometimes. But if we don't take ourselves too seriously and love instead, we can be touched in ways we never saw coming. I wasn't familiar with their songs, but I recognized acts of complete selflessness and hospitality. We wore different clothes, but we both clothed ourselves in deep love for the same two people. We may march to a different beat, but the rhythm of music still evokes screams and dancing.
I'd be remiss to act like "flexibility" is my middle name. I'm usually the person who spends half the night in the restroom after an adventurous bout with exotic food. Or the girl who has a hot flash in a new environment and begins to sweat uncontrollably. I spent most of the evening concocting a way to hike my long skirt up for air flow without a great number of witnesses.
Flexibility in situations may not be my gift, but I do consider myself a spiderweb for lessons I can learn when faced with a different perspective (a lot of this thinking may be attributed to alone time gained as a result of spicy food).
Our lives, when compared side by side, may seem drastically different, but our hearts are always able to find a commonality.
The service wasn't what I was accustomed to; the traditions varied from what I know; but I found a comfortable home in the outstretched arms that held my aunt, uncle and family.
And seeing all those who traveled to partake in customs far from what they are used to was proof that people are still willing to escape comfort zones for the sake of investing in those they love.
It was a beautiful day and I am overjoyed for my aunt who has found the "milk to her Cheerios" in Pete.
And for me, I received the renewal that comes from being a part of something new while enjoying the satisfaction of the old and familiar...even if that means a forceful push to tall grass on the side of a gas station, napkin in hand.
A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions.
Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
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