Whine and Dine

Hi, my name is Ashton, and I am addicted to whining. I googled whining to see if any useful articles would emerge, but much to my shame, they were all parenting publications on "How to Silence a Whiny Child."

One in particular said,"Some experts say that whining tends to peak in a child's development when she's feeling out of control and overwhelmed  -- emotions that pretty much sum up toddlerhood. She lacks the vocabulary to articulate her frustrations, and that whimpering is the natural default noise. Certain triggers, such as hunger and fatigue, can also cause breakdowns (true for kids of all ages), so keep that in mind the next time you take your toddler grocery shopping close to naptime."

Is it sad that this also described me?

I'm just going to go against the grain here and state that I think we all need a forum in which to complain about mundane things. Which is why I have created a whine journal for myself. So that I can file my petty feelings away without having to actually bother others with it. 

Because a healthy amount of whining helps you get over it and move on. And you get to avoid those, "Count your blessings, name them one by one" people. Professional whiners, hear me out: Just because your head hurts, you're tired, you're bored and you could eat numbers 1-5 off the McDonald's menu, it doesn't necessarily equal a lack of recognition for blessings.

I have awesome parents. My husband is a saint. I love my family and friends with all my heart.  

But dang, my back hurts. Does that mean I automatically take back my awesome parents comment? No. It just means my back hurts. 

It gets really out of control when you whine about the wrong thing. I'll be freezing; I'll look over at Justin and say, "Babe, I'm hungry. Wait. No I'm not. I'm cold." 

The semi-responsible adult in me feels like I need a really deep conclusion here about how whining never accomplishes anything and only brings people down. But that would make me one of those chipper optimists. And while we're talking about how much of a glass is full of liquid, can I just say that us half-glass-empty people have been getting a bad rap lately. The truth is, my friends, we're both drinking the same amount of [insert your favorite beverage here]. And just because I wish there was a little more fullness in my cup, doesn't mean I'm not thankful for the little bit I got. I'm just seeing a big 'ol Route 44 sitting there with so much potential. 

Because my Momma reads this, I am going to end on several little things I am thankful for today. And I say little because I have found that little blessings seem to more adequately cleanse the little whines.

-- I have a marble nameplate on my desk at the big bank. Moving up in this world, ya'll.

-- I have my own automatic signature, in the font of my choice, that pops up at the end of every e-mail I send out. I'm official. 

-- I had Chef's Pizza today for the first time ever. Had co-workers not been present, I would have licked the remainder of the cheese out of the box. It was that good.

-- Justin is cooking supper for me right now as I type this. He's such a good guy.

-- I made it through morning traffic without yelling at anyone...I think.

-- Wednesday is when Damages comes on. Love that show.

-- I have the office candy bowl on my desk so I get to see people when they're happy and about to indulge in Laffy Taffy.

 "A lot of toddlers don't even know they're whining," says Sheila Oliveri, a mom of three and a nursery school teacher in St. Louis. So give your little complainer an exaggerated demonstration: "Whyyyyyy are you taaaalkingg like thaaaaaat?" The result will be twofold: "You'll show her exactly how irritating whining is," says Oliveri, "and you may make her laugh, which will make her forget why she was complaining in the first place."

Ok, so at least I know what I sound like, right? That puts me a step ahead of those silly toddlers. Come on guys.