Say Yes to Distress

The wedding went off without a hitch, with an elegance and grace that is beyond my clumsy nature. I actually can’t take credit for any of it except for my presence; it was most definitely a family affair led by my Aunt Jamie and her friend Beverly Stephens, along with the guidance and pocketbook of my beloved parents. When I walked in on Saturday morning, everyone was doing something—uncles were climbing fences near cliffs to retrieve stones to keep the curtains from blowing away, brothers were swinging from branches while hanging mason jars in trees, the women were decorating and adding finishing touches. And let’s not even talk about my cousin Hannah who wore many hats: photographer, make-up artist and hair stylist. Her husband, Scott even toted around a camera to take her place when she was busy making me a movie star.

This family circus, in all its glory, was for me. I was blown away by all the support and love. And being a wedding veteran for many years, I know there were numerous disasters that were hidden from me and for that I am most grateful.

A lot of women have asked me how I was able to relinquish control and take a backseat during this wedding process. My answer? Sanity.

For a girl who had her fair share of tea parties, dress up clothes and imaginary Prince Charmings, the hoopla of wedding madness was too much for me. Not ten minutes after Justin popped the question, I was already being asked what my colors were. Oh, so I was supposed to have color swatches on hold? Whoops. Panic began to set in almost immediately. All the things I had impulsively posted on Pinterest began to haunt my thoughts. It hit me that handmade candles don’t just hop in antique mason jars who then wrap themselves in lace. You actually have to make that stuff that you “liked."And registering? It was like waltzing in a fairyland where I'm actually going to use fine china and vacuum seal my fresh veggies from the garden I'm tending to. Come on. When you have to google certain objects on your "you have to have this" complimentary list, you know you're out of your league.

Wedding showers, in all honesty, are comical to me. They're so exciting, but if you really break it down, you are applying birthday party etiquette to everyday items. I can't tell you how many times I see bowls in my cupboard each day. But give me some punch, several women and sugar and I will shriek about this bowl, tell you how I'm going to use this bowl, and spin the bowl around to view every angle. Don't act like it's not true. Even you, as the party-goer, have gone, "I hope you love the bowl I got you! I was thinking about a placemat, but thought a bowl was 'more you'!" 

The overall reason, however, that I couldn't handle the extravaganza is because I don't like to make decisions. I can carry the "No, you choose the restaurant" conversation into triple overtime. So imagine my reaction to an event that requires a bazillion questions being answered. The result? Chest pains and hyperventilation. I was no Bridezilla-- it was more like "Here Comes the Hypochondriac." It was then that I decided to give it over to the professionals. And that I did. And look how rockin' my wedding was.

In all honesty, I recommend it to anyone. I feel like so many women focus so much on the wedding and the minor details that they don't get to soak in the atmosphere and all the people that are there for them throughout the process. Two days of a grapefruit/tuna diet and I knew that I was no ordinary bride-to-be. I decided I would rather savor my wedding showers than be frothing at the mouth wanting some cake. So you know what? I ate cake and ice cream when I wanted to. And if I wanted a cheeseburger, I *gasp* drove through those lines that aid the 'big, fat and wide' line of the bridal song. 

I in no way had the exact figure I wanted to have at my wedding, and I have all but buried and held a memorial service for my early college physique. But I was happy and I felt loved. And that more than conquers going down a few dress sizes. 

I'm not saying a small wedding is for everyone. Some people thrill at the chance to plot, plan and cut out things. What I am saying, however, is to keep the important things important. Your fiance's feelings are more important than your bouquet. Your grandmother's hug should take priority over making sure the DJ is going to play your favorite song. 

I want to thank my selfless friends, family and now husband for allowing me to give up the little things so I could soak up the times that will forever take residence in my soul.